Love the results for Assignment 2

Assignment 2 was read by a friend and returned with some really wonderful ideas. I tore it apart, limb from limb and put it back together minus a few pieces. It looks great. I think it's ready for polishing.

I didn't get anywhere with Assignment 3. Husband and daughter were sick. Left them at home while attending church. Made a simple meal and went to bed early. Needed the sleep, so, all in all, I benefited.

Today I finished reading the other two stories to help with Assignment 3. I read some more of the assignment particulars and love what I've read. Have a great idea on the slant recommended for the piece. Man I love this writing course. Will mull over the slant before I start on the worksheet.

Received my feedback for Assignment 1. Ms. Clayton has given me some great suggestions and said some wonderful things about the piece-"which was an excellent first piece of writing for this course." and "were able to hand in a very superior piece of writing." Wow, she said that bout my writing.

I'm going to read the recommended reading and pay close attention to the suggestions. They might be useful for Assignment 2.

The newsletter from Long Ridge Writer's Group has a challenge from Writing 4 Charity to write up to 7500 words based on or inspired by Three Billy Goats Gruff. I'm really excited by this challenge because I've been considering this very thing. At least with other fairy tales.

Happy writing.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Yesterday and today were and are full days. I read some for Assignment 3, but not until I finished work and was in bed. So I only read two stories. There are two more stories to read and then I'll continue reading about Assignment 3. I'm continuing to collect data for the assignment. Hopefully I'll be giving you good news about the worksheet completion.

Today. Where do I start? 1st there was the Rodeo Parade. Then an author signing for Teri-Anne and her book 'Conflagration' and the children's book club where they discussed 'Fablehaven' by Brandon Mull. I have stuff I wanted ship, but Menchie's had their grand-opening this morning and the children want to go back for more. So, they've gone. (Yes, all but one attended the opening this morning. The other one was preparing to participate in the parade)

I'm finally going to attack Assignment 2. Still waiting for feedback on Assignment 1.

Happy writing.

Time to stop the bleeding

Yesterday was pretty much the same with reading and reading and studying and studying. I did a couple of critiques.

With my head clear of Assignment 2, I think it's time to cut it up, make it bleed and then repair, remove and put it back together correctly. I've had a lot of thoughts going through my head and it's time to put them down.

Happy writing.

Gathering information and reading and more reading

I gathered a lot of information for my nonfiction piece. About four pages. I even began writing the story down on paper and mulling it around in my head as I try to understand what direction it will go. I'm really still in the beginning stages. Before the story actually gets totally on paper, I'll be using the story planning worksheet.

I'm reading the information for lesson 3 and the recommended reading to understand nonfiction. There's a lot of great stories. One has even caused me to consider writing a different nonfiction. Will have to consider which one pushes me the hardest to get onto the paper.

Assignment 2 is still sitting before it's final read through and possible revisions. This will include reading aloud.

Reading and more reading. Lots to add today

When writing remember to consider whether your choice of words for description are sensory or judgmental and ensure both are used at the appropriate time. Sensory words included sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. (ie My tongue is tingling from the pineapple sauce on the ham. The roar of the engine is reverberating in my chest.) Judgmental, evaluation or opinion words are that describe the sensation. (ie He/she is attractive. The meal is delicious.)

As I've stated before, my writing begins with what comes to mind and I write it on paper. Then I let that set for a couple of days. Finally, I fill in the details. When filling in the details I try to visualize the scene and place the sensory details. As above, these details are either actual or judgmental. Sometimes I even find the story going into a totally different direction. I write everything down and chose the direction that feels best. I've had stories come out so much better when I allow the story to follow its own path rather than mine.

As promised, here are the recommended reads for short stories and few characters.

'Menu'. This was a story of about 1000 words. It's sad. The main character loses his girlfriend and is depressed at the beginning and is on the mend by the end. Other than knowing the main characters name, no other character is named. Just their position and a brief description. Yet, you know who they are and their presence in the story. Interesting.

And 'I've Looked Everywhere!' is a story about loss. The list is incredible, not only the usual losses, her phone for one, but also personal and important paperwork losses. The list is presented in an entertaining way and brings lots of 'yeah, me too' thoughts. This story has one main character and the reader, referred to as 'you'. As if you are there listening to her conversation. She mentions family, in passing,  and gives you small tidbits of their personality. You learn a lot about her based on her list. She's been married a couple of times and may have a boyfriend, she sometimes pampers herself and is getting older. All in all, another interesting story.

Assignment 2 is in the computer. I've added background to the scene and tightened the dialogue. I'll let it set a couple of days and begin revision. In the meantime I'll be working on Assignment 3, a short article based on my interests. This will be nonfiction. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this, so I'm ready to begin my research. I once wrote about Singapore and I think that's what I'll do again. I really liked what I learned and that's the first thought that came to mind when I looked ahead to this assignment. Some day, I'm going to visit.

Until next time-Happy writing and reading.

The story end and setting

I read some information about the ending. So many put a lot of effort in the beginning, but tend to forget a satisfying ending. I recently finished a book whose ending bothered me. I felt like the author was in a hurry to get to the end. Gone was the writing that kept me reading. Now I was getting a lot more telling, (the book contained a lot of telling as well. I often wondered, 'how did he feel,' 'how does she feel,' 'what's he thinking,' what's she thinking,' etc) and things were moving too fast and too convenient. It was like the author had grown tired of writing or revising and just let the end go.

This is what I learned to watch for with the end

• Confirm all questions are answered. Especially the main question that may not have been expressed. Don't leave the reader with unanswered concerns.
• Make sure the subplots are also closed or resolved.
• The end needs to be satisfying. Not that all endings have to end well, but it needs to follow the flow of the book. If you can, make the ending a surprise, even if you're giving the reading the ending they way.

I also read about setting and character's in a short story. Since the story for Assignment 2 is 750-1000 words, the scene should not change by very much. My story takes place in a park with a paved jogging path. The part of the path the story takes place has trees transforming into their fall clothing. A wooden bench is nearby. Everything takes place in this part of the park. I also have to consider the number of characters in this story. Because this is so short, I have decided to keep it at two main characters (there is reference to her sister, son, daughter, and husband). Should I decide to add anyone else, it has been recommended that I don't name them, but note them by their job. ie policeman or woman, driver, etc. I've found a couple more stories to read that provide examples of a one character story and a character only described just enough for the reader to know they exist. Will let you know about them Monday.

In such a short story, I also need to remember to keep the dialogue tight.

Until next time.....Happy writing

Planning the Story

I re-read about the story plan-Beginning Problem, Middle Struggle and End Solution and looked over the character information and notes. Then I incorporated the notes and the story plan. I have a mess as usual, but a story is starting to form. Not a true semblance of one until it goes into the computer, but it's shaping up. The  methods are unfamiliar since most of my writing in the past started at A and ended at B. At which time, I'd let it stew a bit, revise and add, then let it stew some more. Once I felt it was ready for the computer, I'd revise and add as I typed it in. Then the stewing process would continue until I had complete, coherent sentences. The sentences are then moved around to form paragraphs and flow. I'm so excited to see life forming in this story. I think that's the best part of writing. Breathing in the life.

I've a few character points I want to flush out and onto the character list to ensure I keep the character true, but it looks like it's about ready for the computer.

Until next time.

Today's accomplishments

I read more from Assignment 2. I worked on the Story Plan Worksheet and read The Girl with the Click Click Eyes and Blood Lilies. Each story showed different types of problems a character has to overcome. They were recommended reading to see how a problem can make a strong story of its drama is high. I really enjoyed Blood Lilies and am very glad it was 'mild horror'. I'm not much for reading horror.

I finished the Winter Wonderland Prompt. Here it is. Hope you enjoy my version of winter.

SOUTH FLORIDA WINTERS

     Early morning and late evening, ear piercing squawks confirm winter has arrived in Southern Florida. Phone and electric wires are lined with arguing birds establishing their rights to perch. Snowbirds and migrant workers congest the major roadways. The farming community kicks in with fields of vegetables and fruit trees, clothed in greens. Smells of fresh turned earth, wet dirt and pesticides fill the nose depending on the stage of crop production. Patches of brown, shriveled, thirsty grass or forested areas of coniferous and green leafed trees, divide the tracts. U-pick fields yield strawberries, tomatoes and beans. Backyard gardens provide an abundance of the same as well as lettuce, peas and the ever prolific squashes-mainly yellow and zucchini.

    The sun calls it a day before the evening meal. Cooler temperatures, in the 60's to 70's (sometimes 80's) and nights 20 - 30 degrees lower, force locals to bundle in sweaters and jackets while the snowbirds sport shorts and t-shirts. Would you like to see for yourself? Come on down and we may bask in the noontime sun, drink lemonade and watch the impatiens bloom.

Negligent again-Updating

Sunday, I went geocaching with my husband and found a cool cache. Didn't really do anything toward my writing, but had a great time with my husband.

Monday, I read more at the student center, assignment particulars and read from On Writing Well. Many notes were also written for the first draft to complete assignment 2.

Tuesday, I continued reading and absorbing the particulars for writing a story and character development. I worked on developing the character for my story and continued the notes and ideas for assignment 2. Wrote a list of ideas for the challenge to write a Winter Scene leaving out the weak "to be" verbs.

Today, Wednesday, I left my stick at home. :( So, I've been reading from the Fantasy&ScienceFiction and On Writing Well. I wrote the first draft of the winter scene. (it's supposed to be visual only and 250 words. I think the writing will be easier since there aren't any characters to develop, but I'm wondering if the revisions will be the task since the weak "to be" verbs must be removed. I'll let you know.)

I'll make greater efforts to keep you updated more regularly. Thanks for reading.

The Character list I am using

This list is a combination from the Long Ridge Writers Group Character Worksheet, my research and my mentor who visits me everyday.

Gender-
Age-
Physical Description
Hair-
Ears-
Eyebrows-
Eyes-
Eye-lashes-
Nose-
Lip-
Mouth-
Distinctive feature-
Height-
Build-
Complexion-
Clothing-
Personality-
Sound
Voice-
Laugh-
Often says-
Smell-
Touch-
Religion-
Parents-
Childhood-
Family life-
Love Interest-
Employment-
Most influential person in your character's life and why-
Most important person in character's life now and why-
Favorite relaxing pastime-
Greatest embarrassment-
Greatest fear-
Favorite food-
One thing your character won't eat-
Favorite color-
Hidden motivator-
Reluctance (won't do)-
Inability (can't do)-
Dreams active-
Dreams inactive-
Dreams dropped-
Favorite books-
Favorite movies-
Favorite TV shows-
Books, Movies, TV shows that influence actions or thoughts-
*why this way-what in life made him this way-
*Education History (past and present)-
*Family History (relationships, past and present)-
*Sexual History (past and present)-


* really important. Yes, this takes a long time to answer, but you may find the story almost tells itself once you know your character this well.

Have fun storming the castle.

Assignment 2

Assignment 2 is a 750 - 1000 fiction story. Yesterday and today I've been reading the recommended reading. I really like Trucks by Amy Bechtel and the ending of Mrs. Comfrey Wins by Patricia Windsor. The author Carol Parker writes short stories with twists at the end. I love that type of ending. Always so unexpected. Even after reading her stories for the past 5 years. I've also gone to the student center and read about characters, craft and technique and plotting the 1000 word story.

My mind is churning with ideas. Will update Monday.

Have a great weekend.

Printed and ready to send off

Printed assignment 1 and my autobiography. Will send tomorrow as printer gave me a lot of trouble and it took me most of the day to get a readable copy. I’ve three printers and most of the time they don’t work. I’m constantly tinkering with them. I guess it’s time for a new one, especially if I want my instructor to receive my work in a timely manner. I’m attaching some changes I made to The Party that incorporates bits of John Smith from all three attempts. I backed off a lot of description that wasn’t of John. He’s the one you’re supposed to be picking out of a crowd, not the others nor the background. Hope you enjoy. (this is not the one I sent in. It's just more me-at least until I learn to incorporate the style I'm seeing in my assignments) I’m done and moving on to assignment 2.

The Party

Sarah finds Craig in the crowd. "Have you seen Mr. Smith?"

"Don’t think we will. You know he throws these parties, but seldom mingles. From my experience, who'd want to spend time with that arrogant bastard anyway?"

“Arrogant?” she smiles in a knowing way, "are you starting rumors?"

"Rumors? No, facts. Last week he abruptly left a board meeting and ran into me. He growled his displeasure and continued down the hall. Heard later he didn't like the coffee service and went to Marie's to pick up his favorite."

She feels his eyes and looks up to see Mr. Smith in the living room. He's like a lone wolf. Always watching me from a distance. His commanding stance weakens her legs. "Craig, let's continue inside," she gestures down the hall, "the fireplace beckons."

"Wait here," Craig seats her on the wrap-around couch, "I'll get our drinks."

Sarah is mesmerized by the flames that dance and crackle with the music. Once again she feels him and looks up in time to see Mr. Smith turn away. Rising, she carefully clears the large, coffee table. Her quick steps click across the floor. Anxious, she calls out, "Mr. Smith, please wait."

He stops and turns. His large, dark brown eyes question. His melodic, soothing voice beckons. "Sarah, glad you could make it. Hope you're enjoying the party." He takes a couple of champagne glasses from a passing server and offers her one. "Red looks great on you."

"Thank you," she takes a sip, "I love your home and am always grateful for a chance to visit."

His smile widens, thinning his upper lip and deepening his dimples. Sarah's heart quickens in her throat and flushes her face. He takes her gently by the elbow and escorts her through the dining room crowded with invitees. John and Sarah exit onto the balcony. He shuts out the din of conversations, music and the light laughter of his guests. She continues to the balcony. The cool mountain breeze ruffles his roguish hair and highlights the chestnut spikes with a reddish tint.

At the rail she looks out. "I love how you nestled this huge place among the trees." His gentle arms wrap her securely against his warm body. She looks up into his begging eyes and inhales deeply of his sandalwood and ginger cologne with a hint of pine from the forest. He nuzzles her, his breath tickles her lips.

"John, I..." she fights for control of her emotions, "I.."

He silences her with a tentative kiss.

She gasps and pushes him away.

"What?" he asks, his voice deeper. He rubs her shoulders then pulls her closer, his hands on her lower back.

Her heart races between her chest and abdomen when he chews on his full lower lip. She grabs him by the collar of his tux and pulls his six foot plus height into her passionate reply. She looks up into his dimpled smile, "What about the board?"

"Everything will be fine, I promise."

Not sure how much hair I have left

I find the second attempt not much different than the first. So I quit and read about character development. I like what I've read so far. I re-read the instructions and followed the examples. Here is the result. For me it's plain, but it does the best job of the three at meeting the requirement of you, the reader, being able to pick my character out of a crowd.

I sent this in Friday the 13th. Will let you know the results when they come back.

SARAH BEDS JOHN

Almost every woman in the office of Smith and Smith dreams of bedding John Smith. This CEO in waiting leaves each, in turn, licking their wounds behind closed doors. To save face, the women cite arrogance as the cause of the demise of their dream relationship.

"I'll have your job," he said to them in their inept moments, "I promise." His short temper and lack of respect for his working employees is usually the first step in their wake-up call. In this manner Mr. Smith, a scrawny, lone wolf, remains outside the pack and waits for tidbits from Mom.

The first thing visitors and the ladies in waiting see in the lobby, of Smith and Smith, is John Smith the older and John Smith the younger. The dark brown eyes of the son are the first to grab. Many claim he can see right into their soul. In his late 30's he still hasn't learned to control his roguish hair. The spikes, highlighted red in the light, point haphazardly despite the use of gel. His smile is the clincher. Deep dimples, a thin upper and full lower lip tend to bring smiles to the women as they progress pass the portraits.

Sarah has heard and felt it all in her 20 years with Smith and Smith. She has never lost her desire to walk down the isle with John. Even when his 6 foot plus height towers over her and his dark eyes bore holes into her heart. Unlike some, who run away refusing to return, she continues to cross his doorway with the hope that one day he will actually notice her.

John's deep, melodic voice, calls her into his office. "Dad has asked me to attend The World Watch and Jewelry Show in Basel, Switzerland. The information is here," he hands her a copy of an email without looking up. "Book a flight for two and a luxury suite in the nearest hotel."

His woodsy cologne reminds her of the Christmas party at the Smith family's mountain retreat. She overheard his mother comment that he loved the place and often spent his weekends there. She quickly turns and leaves his office. Taking a deep breath, she regains control. She pushes the intercom button on her phone, "Sir, this email doesn't state who's going with you. I need both names to book the flight."

"I'll get back with you. In the mean time, get my mother on the phone."

She listens, through the open office door, to the loving side of John and dreams of the day he'll be devoted to her. He giggles and lightly laughs at something his mother said. The end of their conversation forces her return to reality.

Her phone buzzes, his voice sarcastic; "Mom says to drag you along. She feels you need some stimulation for this years catalog."

With a big, knowing smile she books a few extra days in Zurich. Says in the description, Don't miss the breathtaking panoramic view and exhilarating mountain air. What could be more stimulating?

Now see if you can find him.

Second try

Continued the second attempt at description since the first didn't seem to give enough to pick my character out in a crowd. First draft is still on paper. Will put it in the computer soon and finalize it.

Worked some on my character Theodore from Second Chances based on what I've learned so far. Will do some reading, when I have time, about character development to ensure he's the best he can be.

Until tomorrow.

And life is great

Sunday was a perfect day. A great class with the five year olds I teach, then a wonderful geocache find. A nice walk out to Biscayne Bay and skipping rocks in the beautiful sun of Florida. Our usual treat of brownies, fresh from the oven, and ice cream followed by family scripture study.

I did have time to finish up a critique for a fellow picture book writer. No time for writing, but that didn't stop me from considering my next attempt at writing a description for assignment 1.

Today I spent most of the day taking care of weekend sales and ordering for the week. Did hand write my first draft of my second attempt at assignment 1. Will contemplate it a bit and put it on the computer soon.

Until next time.

Worked on description

Okay, I wrote my description. First draft and then adjustments until I have what I consider the final draft. Not sure my brain understands the assignment. I love the snippet, but am not sure it meets the required assignment. This is the frustrating part of my writing. When I read their example and look at mine I wonder why stuff comes out that seems to have totally missed the mark. I followed the instructor’s recommendations to add dialog and a setting, but still missed the mark. I will sit on it a couple of days and re-do. Also did more research on character development and plan on finding out other things about John Smith. Ie favorite color, food, car, least favorite whatever, schools attended and graduated, etc. Although not important for the assignment, this is going to be fun and important for future characters for a novel or story..

Here's me doing what I want to do. I'll post what the assignment want's me to do when it's done.

THE PARTY

Sarah catches Craig’s searching eyes. She checks her hair, smooths her red, floor length dress and approaches him. "Have you seen Mr. Smith yet?"

"Don’t think we will. You know he throws these parties, but seldom mingles. I don't even know if he's in town. From my experience, who'd want to spend time with that arrogant bastard anyway?"

“Arrogant?” Are you starting rumors?" She smiles in a knowing way.

"Rumors? No, facts. Last week he abruptly left a board meeting and ran into me. He growled his displeasure and continued down the hall. Heard later he didn't like the coffee service and went to Marie's to pick up his favorite."

She feels watched, looks up and sees Mr. Smith in the living room, separate from his guests. "Craig," she said taking his arm, "let's continue inside. This entryway may be large, but it’s getting crowded and sounds like a bee hive. Besides, the fireplace beckons." She gestures down the hall and notices the silver candles, strategically placed, that add a holiday glow to the party.

"Wait here," Craig seats her on the tan, wrap-around couch, "I'll get our drinks."

Sarah is mesmerized by the flames that dance and crackle with the music. Once again she feels watched. She looks up in time to see Mr. Smith turn away. Rising, she carefully clears the large, claw legged coffee table. Her quick steps click across the floor. "Mr. Smith, please wait."

He stops and turns. His large, dark brown eyes see into her. His melodic voice and drawl beckon her. "Sarah, glad you could make it. Hope you're enjoying the party." He takes a couple of champagne glasses from a passing server and offers her one.

"Thank you," she takes a sip, "I love your home and am always grateful for a chance to visit."

John takes her by the elbow and escorts her through the dining room. The eight foot table is laden with party treats and surrounded by invitees. The dark wooden, high backed chairs are against the wall where guests have taken advantage of a place to sit near the feast. John and Sarah exit onto the balcony. John shuts out the din of conversations, music and light laughter of his guests. The cool mountain breeze ruffles his roguish hair and highlights the chestnut spikes with a reddish tint.

At the rail she looks out. "I love how you nestled this huge place among the trees." His gentle arms wrap her securely against his warm body. She inhales deeply of his sandalwood and ginger cologne with a hint of pine from the forest. "John, I..." she fights for control of her emotions, "I.."

He silences her with a tentative kiss.

She gasps, pushes him away only to grab him by the collar of his tux and pull his six foot plus height into her passionate reply. She looks up into his dimpled smile, "What about the board?"

"Everything will be fine, I promise."

My next step describing

Had another headache that lasted most of the day. Didn't do much.

I researched how to describe a character. I found the first paragraph should be introductory. Giving name, title, place met, etc. The main body covers physical appearance, personality, hobbies, interests, everyday activities, etc. Much of which I haven’t considered. So back to the beginning to add the new information. The final paragraph summarizes your feelings. This research recommended the physical appearance being described in the following order 1) height/build/age, 2) facial features, 3) hair, 4) clothes. My instructor recommends the description to be written as follows: 1) cover first impressions, 2) the mid-section should provide supporting evidence, 3) summary of impressions.

Want to publish? Here's an ezine looking for material

Check out Guardian Angel ezine. They're looking for articles. Follow the link for submission guidelines and monthly themes.   Guardian Angel Kids

Even a slow writer such as I has time to get in at least one manuscript.

See you in print.

The process of describing

I found out there’s a lot more to describing someone and/or developing a character. First I looked at my subject, I’ll call him John Smith, (to protect the innocent) and wrote down all the words I could think of that described his personality. Such as: arrogant, witty, clever, charming, etc. (not necessarily all at the same time) Then I started at the top and worked my way from there. Hair, eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, lips, distinctive features ie dimples and how his eyes grab you and won’t let go. Then I considered his height, build, age and complexion. I listened to his voice and considered his most common remark. Even included some about smell and touch. I'll upload my notes below. It's handwritten as most of my writing starts out in that form.

So the New Year Begins

Received my information. My instructor is Sarah Clayton. Wonder if she's related to the Sarah Clayton from Back to the Future. Anyway, I'm a bit nervous. As many may remember, or know, each time you start with a new instructor, one needs to learn their expectations. My first lesson is to describe a person in 500 words and send in an autobiographical letter.
The letter was fun to right. Memories of the past were enjoyable to remember. Goals of the future were also added. I'm hoping these will help my instructor push me down the road to obtain them.

I'll start a separate post on the things I learn about describing.